What’s Your Thing?
Almost everyone I know has a thing. What kind of thing you might ask? For some, it’s a partnerless life. Others, a constant battle with money. Or a career that hasn’t quite taken off. An unsatisfying job. Piles of debt. Health challenges. An on-going battle with a person at work. Conflict with family or a loved one. Dealing with an ex. Separation. Divorce. Major loss. Childhood issues with a parent. Parenting issues with a child. For a select group, it’s pure drama, a high stakes, juicy mess.
No coincidence after last Sunday’s Sacred Meditation (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QE6r17-gmA) I began to see my thing(s) more clearly. Big and small. I saw how much time I spend discussing each thing with my mind. It became apparent rehashing the past or projecting future events had become a full-time hobby. My biggest thing revolved around work and money. Am I living here or there? Will I get a full time job? Will I continue to interview to no avail? Will the weekly Sacred Meditation speak to people? Will new people subscribe and watch regularly? Is this healing practice a hobby or a full-time pursuit? Why haven’t I focused more completely on shamanism? Notice the number of wills in this paragraph alone…
Previously, I would have assumed my thing was some form of suffering created by the ego; a ploy to keep me distracted. I realized how easily I allowed myself to be ensnared in the mind’s web of what ifs and maybes. I could hear the mind’s righteousness given I was thinking and focusing on “work.” I realized my thing was not a distraction, but a mask of fear.
Knowing the importance of stalking my fears like a puma, I set out to find the root of the fear. I found the fear of failing. Fear of struggling financially. Fear of scarcity. At the core, though, was the fear of being powerful. I could see the many powerful choices I had been avoiding. Even though I am streaming live on YouTube, I am still a needle in a haystack. I haven’t harnessed the power of SEO or other social media tools. I sat with all of the fears and asked to be shown what others hold court in my mind each day.
After giving these fears and distractions my undivided attention, two questions remained. What would life look like if I chose to let go of all fears and distractions and allowed work and money to flow effortlessly? What are the benefits for holding on to these fears and staying powerless? The answer… Life would be too easy.
Which leads me back to my ego and its love of drama. I am choosing to break this cycle. I choose ease. In order to do that, I need to continue to stalk and investigate my fears. I need to feel them until I can’t feel them any longer.
It also leads me to ask you…what’s your thing? How are you benefitting by engaging in the mind’s limiting mental gymnastics. How much more of your life are you willing to spend powerless and small? How would the world change if you stepped fully on to your path of service?