Forgiving Just One

I often find myself reminding clients the heart holds onto feelings when life (and people) disappoint us. By feelings, I mean the kind that hurt. When relationships end, pain comes from a perceived loss of connection. We can feel abandoned by love. We hurt, something the ego loves to indulge. The more we suffer, the more we feel like victims. The loss can leave us feeling lonely and alone.


This month I recommend we look at our life’s disappointments: fractured friendships; perceived back stabbings; the identification of being abandoned by another; betrayed; cheated upon; unkind or even mean words exchanged; knock down, dragged out fights with brothers, sisters, ex-spouses, parents, husband, wife, children, neighbors, best friends, old friends, coaches, teachers and those at work. The kind of exchange you’ve never been able to forget, much less forgive. Ones you replay and rehash in your mind over and over again.


Choose one, just one of these disappointments. Set the intention you are going to make it your project of the month. You are going to learn something about it you didn’t know. You are going to see things from a deeper, empathetic lens for you and everyone involved. Hold it gently and compassionately in your hands. Send it some unconditional love. Light a candle with the intention of finding the true roots of the hurt and discord. Ask the situation to show you what good has come from it. Ask your body where you are holding the hurt. Ask the hurt what is needed to be free of it. Feel the pain and allow the hurt to express itself. Feel it until you can’t feel it anymore. Feel new buds of kindness emerging.


Spring is a time for fresh starts. Try something new. Forgive someone you love because you can. Lighten your heart this spring. You deserve it. Start now.



Please let me know if you are planning to join the monthly healing. I apologize for the late note. Just returning home from being away.

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